“I can’t believe how hard it is to get my work seen by anyone.  I’ve tried to blow up on Tik Tok.  I’ve tried to get traffic to my website.  I’ve even tried paying influencers and running paid ads.  I’m frustrated because nothing works.”

Many new independents often lament that they didn’t realize how much work and effort is needed to not only do the work for their clients, but to also do the work that brings them work.

Last week, I met with a budding photographer who had recently moved to New York from Boston.  After exiting his job as the staff photographer for a magazine, he was now working independently, primarily because he could make more money by taking on multiple clients.  His photographs were great and he came off as incredibly professional, but he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t getting the type of client traction he felt he deserved.

“You say that you’ve tried social media and paid ads.” I remarked.  “May I ask, how long did you try each of these routes?”

He thought about it for a few seconds before replying. “Roughly 2 weeks each. I posted on Tik Tok consistently for two weeks, and then I felt awkward putting myself out there with only a handful of new followers to show for it.”

Like most newly independent workers and freelancers, he wasn’t comfortable with marketing himself.  After a measly two weeks, he had stopped trying well before he was likely to see the fruit of his labor grow.

One of the biggest obstacles that frequently holds people back from working independently is the idea of having to bring in clients.  How will I talk to enough people and network effectively to maintain a steady stream of work and projects?  In the past, individuals would have had a hard time being seen by anyone if you didn’t have access to print or television advertisements.  Now that social media and other one-to-many platforms exist, the barrier to scalable visibility is much lower.

But the fact that it’s easier to be seen doesn’t mean that everybody wants to be seen.  The thought of needing to be “out there” and visible to a large number of people can be anxiety-inducing.  We all know the feeling of trepidation at the idea of our friends, neighbors, or colleagues stumbling upon our social media posts and judging us. 

To help you overcome the fear of visibility, here are three key mental resets that can help you get over that hump:

1. Decide what you will share and what is off limits.

Just because your cousin is sharing back-to-back bikini photos and getting 1,000 followers a week doesn’t mean that’s what’s right for you.  It’s important to take some time to determine what you [and potentially those who are closest to you] are comfortable putting out on the internet.  

Do you only want to focus on professional work posts, or are you happy sharing about friends and family? Would you be proud of showing skin in your posts, or is your personality better suited for workwear and business suits?

There is no boundary for what you can and cannot put on your social media profiles [as long as they adhere to user guidelines], but you must be comfortable that the voice and persona you project is being as authentic to you as possible.

2. You’re not promoting yourself.  You’re connecting.

Unabashed self-promoters are a huge turn off, so many of us are wary to steer away from obvious brownnosing.  Putting yourself “out there” on social media can have the same semblance of being disingenuous and therefore people often avoid it altogether.

Instead of thinking of your networking, blogs, and social media content as self-promotion, look at them from the lens of wanting to genuinely connect with others.  By presenting your authentic self, you’re sharing from a place of passion and enthusiasm.  This allows others who are also passionate about those things to connect with you!

3. Start within your comfort zone, then expand out.

If you’re afraid of jumping into the deep end with your visibility efforts, start small by focusing first on the areas you are most comfortable with.  For example, I’ve always had an affinity for images and photographs of people, so I naturally gravitated toward Instagram in its early days.  I was far more protective and shy about sharing my long pieces of writing.  It took several years after I got comfortable with Instagram and had learned how to post on it consistently for me to start my website and a blog.

Additionally, you can start by sharing something small every day or every week with your close group of friends and family.  Consider sending a weekly email with your thoughts and interesting tidbits, or a short video about something you’re working on to a WhatsApp group.  The aim is to not worry too much and simply begin to slowly connect with people outside your immediate circle.

I, too, had to get over the fear of judgment from others when I first started posting and writing.  In my head, I’d imagine that people were snickering “What’s she doing acting like that for everyone to see?” and laughing about me as they scrolled through their phone. In reality, there are some people who could relate to the things I wrote about and were happy to have come across my profile, a few people who certainly did laugh at me, but most people didn’t care at all what I was doing.

Our ego allows us to believe that our everyday activities matter to the world, when in fact, not many people care.  The vast majority of people are worried about their own lives and happenings, giving little more than a cursory glance or thought to your individual life. 

There is far more to gain from sharing and increasing your visibility than there is to protect by staying small.  Yes, there will always be the possibility of being made fun of or dragged for the things you put out there, but as the old Benjamin Franklin adage holds:

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”